Naked Jungle Slide
by and published in Edition Eight of Pomegranate
well what you should do first is gather your nuggets so first gather
your nuggets, gather your nuggets and gather them good then shake
them twice at a quarter moon in a tincture made from the puss-juice
of a spot of a small man with absolutely no hair but check he does
not mind first because the nuggets must not be tainted by the spirits
of unhappy men as they turn white with the bleaching action of bad
vibes maybe bake him a cake to stop this happening, the nuggets
SHAKE THEM SLIDE THEM well and good and take the nuggets
out and pat them dry whilst you whisper sexy words of mysterious
love that teaches them the mathematics of colour very gently pat them
with a towel provided by a small, swinging, banana eating jungle monkey
who has been watching you ALL YOUR LIFE keep your eyes on the sky
as you shake and watch out for sea gulls who might drop droppings
on your fingernail which you might forget because you are let loose
and wild and free from all the shaking and might later offer your finger
to the bald man by way of thanks for the puss, thinking it were marmite
rather than the terd it really is SHAKE THEM SLIDE THEM once your
nuggets are gentle and good hurl them down the slide and shake yourself
as you do this so they scatter and land at the bottom in curious directions
then take all your clothes off including that black hat which nobody likes
so that you are completely ready for the totally radically splendidly glorious
fantasmagorically wonderous naked jungle slide and slide down the naked
jungle slide and whilst you slide down the naked jungle slide you must not
forget I repeat must not forget you must not forget whilst you slide down
the naked jungle slide to shout WEE and contemplate the suspicious habits
of the noise of the wind as it rushes past you and how it sounds slightly
stranger than it normally does and that it tastes like burnt green strawberries
but donÕt contemplate it for too long even though the long long long long
naked jungle slide is really very long then land on the nuggets at the bottom
of the naked jungle slide which will scatter the nuggets and the wise jungle
monkey that has been watching you ALL YOUR LIFE will make wild judgements
from the nugget patterns and he will tell you your future and forget your past
and smell up your present which always lives at the bit where your neck
turns to head which he finds difficult to draw and whilst he does that you probably
will not notice the vines growing up and around your feet and youÕll twitch
a bit at the itch of it but the monkey is most saintly and a professor of distraction
and you will patiently be listening to the tales of your present as he sniffs
your neck as a team of sloths slowly very slowly rise up and poke their wet
heads from out of the tree branches and gently very gently slide down the trunks
and move slowly very slowly towards you but you still will not notice
any of this because the monkey will say LISTEN TO YOUR MONKEY
YOUR PRESENT SMELLS OF BURNT GREEN STRAWBERRIES, YOUR
PAST I HAVE FORGOTTEN AND YOUR FUTURE IS WET IT IS WET
WET WET and then the monkey will sing your favourite song LOVE IS ALL
AROUND ME and you will sing along with him and you absolutely will not
have any idea whatsoever as to the nature of the odd things speeding down
the long long long long naked jungle slide behind you holding out their hands
towards your neck and how the whole jungle is wrapping itself around itself
and what the hell is that coming down at the slide at you? I donÕt know thatÕs
never happened before and oh I completely forgot to tell you about how
to get hold of the nuggets but I donÕt know what the hell you think you are doing
in the jungle in the first place if you canÕt figure that out are you completely
ridiculous I THINK YOU ARE chorus the sloths god speed good luck god bless.