Hydromancy
by and published in Edition Three of Pomegranate
To the heron, a marsh pool’s a struggling inmate
Dishevelled, pinions shivering, it keeps the water still
with the anaesthetic needle of its leg. And then, when it
kicks off, the ever-patient bird gets surgical
~
The girl you like is showering. She’ll dance to her shower’s
hot whim, so come on, wield the chain of water
and whip her back, spank her rump, trouble her to tears –
see her stagger, whimper, like a grazed bullfighter
~
“Rainmaking’s easy,” you tell me. “I just mull
over my misfortune, or someone else’s
for weeks at a time, and soon, voila – rainfall.”
I try it but instead get a mouthful of ulcers
~
That kid in the swimming pool thinks he’s Son Goku!
Sweeping up the water into spume explosion
after spume explosion, but inaccurate – berserker!
Friend, get your feet wet – show him how it’s done
~
I’m glad I’m older. All it used to take to make me hide
was watching Pat’s van nearly slam into Ted Glenn,
and all it used to take to make me blubber and flood
the room was It’s Too Late, La Luna or Downtown
~
Forget your lead, you alchemists! Reserve it for your bullets
or sweetening the wine of your arch-enemy. With just
a scoop of coffee water is sublimed into the palate’s
own black gold. A tempest whose effects are yours to taste!
~
The shower’s on upstairs. The bathroom light has blown
Who’d shower in the dark? And do you dare eavesdrop?
You live alone! Your enemy has followed you from town!
Time to play with sorcery and turn on the hot tap
Jon Stone
Jon Stone is poetry editor of the roundtable review and production editor of Fuselit magazine. His writing has previously appeared in places like The Wolf, Mimesis, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and Bizarre magazine. His collection ‘I’ll Show You Tyrants’ is due out from bluechrome probably some time after he finishes trying to make it Really Really Good. He lives in Jack the Ripper country.